Change of Plans.

 

 This week I got an email from one of our Caseworkers regarding a little guy that we have had off and on for a long time. This child will be going up for adoption and at this time we are the adoptive resource. This however would mean another year before things could even go forward. Current law is that a child has to be in a home 1 year consecutive before being adopted by the Foster family. He was with us for over a year and left, but then came back.

  My little guy has been through so many transitions at his little age. Including his parents coming in and out of his life causing emotional problems each time. There are some loop holes (He has been with us over 1/2 of his life, etc.) that we can stand on though. One of the things I try to do is put my emotions to the side and ask God what is best for each child. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This is for my kids and they are in His hands. 

  I have often thought that the best thing for this child, despite my deep love for him, would be for him to be in a home out of state. This is the messiness of Foster Care! Days like this I am glad I know my God. I am glad that I have His Spirit to guide and direct me. I am glad that I can have peace (Micah 5:5 "He will be our Peace) and trust that the situation is in His hands. He will guide and direct us. 

 While we wait and pray life continues.. We live each to the best, laugh as much as possible and show them the love of God as best as we can. 

She has lost it!

 Today started out so great! I woke up earlier then my kids, had coffee and spent some quiet time with the Lord. This my Momma friends is a rarely. Normally my mornings go something like this: Alarm goes off ( I try to wake up, still sooo tired from the late night before of housekeeping, etc) So, I push the snooze button. All of a sudden I realize I do need to get up know! My daughter needs to get up and ready for school. I had all the best intentions of laying out her clothes the night before and making her lunch. That did not work out.

 I wake my daughter up and remind her to be quiet because all three boys are still sleeping and this morning, may actually be the morning I get some quiet time before they run (literally) out of their rooms and start there continual day of asking for things, lol.

 This morning we manage to get her out of the house and I had 30 minutes before the boys woke up. Today was going to be good! We went about our day and did our errands. I then put one of my little guys on his bus and dropped off my other little guy off at school. I know was able to have sometime to clean my house, continue on the laundry that I am still trying to get done from last weeks trip. 

 The day was going just as I had planned it. At 3pm I pick up two of my boys. The boys I could tell where in a mood right away. They started fighting, yelling, etc. To make things short we had an hour of tantrums at home with my 3 year old and 4 year old. My 1 year old started throwing up as well.

 This my Momma friends is where I lost it! My plans and my kids where no longer cooperating. After an hour of yelling at me and at each other. I just wanted to cry. I did everything I thought I needed to do. I read my Bible that day! I had my prayer time! I even listened to Worship music throughout the day! Why was I a crying mess! 

 For so many years I have thought everything had to be perfect. My kids needed to act perfect all the time, my house always needs to be clean, I have to do things this way and this way only! This is how God speaks to me, this is how things are done! But, as a Momma and a Foster Momma, this is not my life. My life is crazy, my kids have behaviors I can not always control (because something sets them off), they have parents who do not show up and more and more craziness. My job is to not be perfect, or to expect perfection from them. No one is perfect and even my little ones have a sin nature, Yes, it is true Mommas. The great thing is even when we put our God in a box. He is so faithful and loves us so much that He is always there (Deuteronomy 31:6) . Even in the daily storms of life and chaos!

 Job 38:1-2 NCV says:

 " Then the Lord answered Job from the storm. He said:

2 “Who is this that makes my purpose unclear

    by saying things that are not true?"

Be Still

   Today I was driving my kids to their swim lessons and was contemplating my schedule. Today alone I had a two hour appointment, took a child to school after the appointment, got a call from the school to pick up a child from school (right during nap time for my little boys). I don't know about other Mom's but, nap time is sacred in this house..  After school we had visitations and then a two hour swim lesson. 

   This for me is pretty normal 5 days a week. Up until recently we were doing gymnastics too. The only reason they had not attended was because we have been to busy to go. I was feeling guilty because i have not been able to take my kids. I try to give them as many experiences while they are with us because, I know they will more and likely not when they go home. 

   God has been pulling on my heart to stop and enjoy the life He has given me. The call He has given me. It is such an honor to walk out this life He gives us. To live it fully for Him. I do not want to miss out on anything God has for us simply because we are to busy doing. 

   The enemy is so good at coming in and attacking our Mommy hearts. We pour so much out for our little ones to the point that we stop taking care of ourselves. It is during this time the enemy brings lies in that "we are not good Mom's",  "Our kids deserve and need these things",  etc.. When in reality our kids are loved the most, cared for the most and the happiest when we are.

   Today all I wanted was to be STILL! To be still and stop. To be still and just spend time with my Father and let Him speak. To be the best Mom that I can be and that requires me to Be Still and let God refresh and take care of me.

   If you have a schedule that is crazy. Most Mom's do! I encourage you to stop and just sit with God. Let Him refresh and speak to you! He is so faithful to be there!

Psalms 40:10 "Be still, and know that I m God;"

Trust

   This weekend Joe and I picked up some of our former Foster Care kids and along with some of our current kids; we went to the beach. My family was all going to meet up as well. One of my favorite drives is to the beach. We are so lucky to live in the Pacific Northwest and have the most beautiful drives and beaches. 

  As we are driving the song "Oceans" by Hillsong kept playing over and over in my mind. The lyrics are:

You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

[6x]

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
Oh, Jesus, you're my God!

I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

     I started to ponder the word trust and to trust without borders.  I thought about what God has done in my life these last 2 years. How Foster Care has changed my perspective in trusting in God. As most people know I am a huge advocate for Foster Care! So, here are a few lessons I have learned about trusting God through Foster Care.

1. God can and will come in at a moments notice and completely change a life and a family. Joel 2:25 says, "God can restore what is broken and change it into something amazing. All you need is faith."

2. My plans are not always His plans. However, while His plans may not be what I wanted. They have each time brought so much growth, joy, etc. to my life. Prov. 19:21

3. When Sorrow hits my heart. I can call upon Him and give it all to Him! It is when I have been on my knees, crying out to Him and feeling so helpless, that my faith can really soar! It is then I can trust without any borders!

   I know that a head of me I will have times that I will have to blindly give my heart. I will give my whole heart knowing that it may get broken and crushed. Knowing that I will have to depart with my plans and what I want. I will once again find myself on my knees, crying out to Him. Trusting in the fact that I will walk upon the waters and I will find rest for my heart and soul in Him. 

   "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding." Proverbs 3:5.

Yes?

    One of my favorite blogs that I follow is the Jason Johnson Blog. His heart for Foster Care and how the church can greatly change the Foster Care system is amazing. I found this from his blog and it is so true! 

    When we first started doing Foster Care it took us several years to get to the point where we were ready to say yes. Now each time we get a new child, we get an opportunity to say yes. Even if it is inconvenient. Each time we say yes, we say yes to a new adventure. We say yes to a child, a child's family and whoever else maybe in there lives. 

    Nothing about Foster Care is convenient! I have visitations 3 days a week, appointments several days a week and still trying to maintain a "normal" life for the kids with church, school and sports. But, I know that saying yes means a child will get to sit at a dinner table, have someone to hug while they are missing their family, someone to hold them and walk with them through this scary process. Saying yes maybe so inconvenient but, saying yes gives everyone so much more!

    

Life Lesson From Foster Care

  

 These last 4 weeks have been a whirl wind at our house! We have gone from a family of 3 to a family of 5 once again. In our home I typically like to stay around 4 kids. That is what works best for us. I have also learned quite a few lessons from my little ones over the last 4 weeks,
Roughly 4 weeks ago we had to make the hard decision about not opening our home up to a little guy that we once had. This was the 2nd call I had received and at the time of the first call, our home was full. That was not the case this time! Both Joe and I love this child very much but, do to other circumstances and looking at all the dynamics we felt it was best to say no.
Saying No, is not always a bad thing! When we said no. We said yes to 2 little boys. These boys where very sweet and rough but, put into a stable home flourished. Yesterday, we got the call that they would be moving with family. This is great! As the boys where getting packed. The oldest said, "I don't want to go. I like here." Even though he knew he was going with family.
   I packed the boys up and helped put them in the car. I gave them both hugs and kisses. They both where smiling and happy. I knew that they would be happy where they were going. It would just take that adjustment time.
   That evening we decided to take our son and our little foster care girl to the movies. When children leave it is not only hard on them but, the ones left behind. The ones left behind don't understand why they do not get to too. We went and saw Zootopia. It was a funny movie but, both my husband and I agreed it had a little to much adult humor in it. The message of the movie was great however.
   On our way home. Our little FC Girl says from the back seat, "I will miss you guys when I am gone." While these last 4 weeks have been a roller coaster of adjustment, life, adjustment. I am reminded of why we do this! Every time they feel safe, loved, cared for and taught something new. We win! Every night when we sit at the table and eat dinner together and say 3 things we are Thankful for, we win! Every Sunday when we attend church and they are taught how loved they are and that, they where created for something so much more then their circumstances. We win!
   Over and over in the Bible we see how much God loves children. Mark 10:13-16 says; "People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a child will never enter it."And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them."
   What a great calling to be a parent, Foster parent, Grandparent, Aunt, Uncle or whatever your role may be. To teach them and truly make an impact on our world.

Hello!

It has been sometime since I have last posted on our blog. Life got very busy with a whole lot of transitions. Even in the craziness and business of everyday life God has shown Himself faithful and true!
So, what has been going on in our lives. Last time I posted we had just done some pictures and where starting the road to adoption. Joe and I made the choice to do Foster Care instead of just adopting. I would never have guessed how crazy this road God called us on would be.
We have had 15 kids in a little over 2 years! Some we are still contact with and some we are not. We currently have 5 in our home. One will be ours very soon! He is a sweet little boy that we have had since he was 1 1/2. I am so thankful that God has placed him in our lives, You will hear much more about him in the future!
Last year we decided to restart our painting company. We have watched God bless it so fast and now have people working for us. I know God has great things planned for our company. Along with starting a business my little sister and her husband moved away. That was another hard transition.
With all the transitions we have had one thing remains. God is so good and faithful!
When we stay close to God, even if it means holding on for dear life. The outcome is so beautiful!
I have learned a lot of things through these last couple of years. One of the greatest things is: The most important thing in my life is my relationship with God. I have found myself on my knees crying and the loneliness I have ever been in my life. Without God's Word and prayer I am incomplete! I am not my best! To be the best Wife, Mom, Foster Mom, Sister and Daughter; I have to have His Word written on my heart and need to communicate what is going on with Him.
I have grown and changed so much since we first started this adventure. I am stronger, more confident in who He has called me to be, more compassionate (for somethings :) and more aware of what is really going on around me.
I hope you enjoy our blog as we share what this amazing life brings us!

LOVE,

Pam