Change of Plans.

 

 This week I got an email from one of our Caseworkers regarding a little guy that we have had off and on for a long time. This child will be going up for adoption and at this time we are the adoptive resource. This however would mean another year before things could even go forward. Current law is that a child has to be in a home 1 year consecutive before being adopted by the Foster family. He was with us for over a year and left, but then came back.

  My little guy has been through so many transitions at his little age. Including his parents coming in and out of his life causing emotional problems each time. There are some loop holes (He has been with us over 1/2 of his life, etc.) that we can stand on though. One of the things I try to do is put my emotions to the side and ask God what is best for each child. Jeremiah 29:11 says, "For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." This is for my kids and they are in His hands. 

  I have often thought that the best thing for this child, despite my deep love for him, would be for him to be in a home out of state. This is the messiness of Foster Care! Days like this I am glad I know my God. I am glad that I have His Spirit to guide and direct me. I am glad that I can have peace (Micah 5:5 "He will be our Peace) and trust that the situation is in His hands. He will guide and direct us. 

 While we wait and pray life continues.. We live each to the best, laugh as much as possible and show them the love of God as best as we can. 

She has lost it!

 Today started out so great! I woke up earlier then my kids, had coffee and spent some quiet time with the Lord. This my Momma friends is a rarely. Normally my mornings go something like this: Alarm goes off ( I try to wake up, still sooo tired from the late night before of housekeeping, etc) So, I push the snooze button. All of a sudden I realize I do need to get up know! My daughter needs to get up and ready for school. I had all the best intentions of laying out her clothes the night before and making her lunch. That did not work out.

 I wake my daughter up and remind her to be quiet because all three boys are still sleeping and this morning, may actually be the morning I get some quiet time before they run (literally) out of their rooms and start there continual day of asking for things, lol.

 This morning we manage to get her out of the house and I had 30 minutes before the boys woke up. Today was going to be good! We went about our day and did our errands. I then put one of my little guys on his bus and dropped off my other little guy off at school. I know was able to have sometime to clean my house, continue on the laundry that I am still trying to get done from last weeks trip. 

 The day was going just as I had planned it. At 3pm I pick up two of my boys. The boys I could tell where in a mood right away. They started fighting, yelling, etc. To make things short we had an hour of tantrums at home with my 3 year old and 4 year old. My 1 year old started throwing up as well.

 This my Momma friends is where I lost it! My plans and my kids where no longer cooperating. After an hour of yelling at me and at each other. I just wanted to cry. I did everything I thought I needed to do. I read my Bible that day! I had my prayer time! I even listened to Worship music throughout the day! Why was I a crying mess! 

 For so many years I have thought everything had to be perfect. My kids needed to act perfect all the time, my house always needs to be clean, I have to do things this way and this way only! This is how God speaks to me, this is how things are done! But, as a Momma and a Foster Momma, this is not my life. My life is crazy, my kids have behaviors I can not always control (because something sets them off), they have parents who do not show up and more and more craziness. My job is to not be perfect, or to expect perfection from them. No one is perfect and even my little ones have a sin nature, Yes, it is true Mommas. The great thing is even when we put our God in a box. He is so faithful and loves us so much that He is always there (Deuteronomy 31:6) . Even in the daily storms of life and chaos!

 Job 38:1-2 NCV says:

 " Then the Lord answered Job from the storm. He said:

2 “Who is this that makes my purpose unclear

    by saying things that are not true?"